I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
