wrigley field is MILF paradise
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
my god I love twenty year old dicks
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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