My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Randomize
