bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Someone shit on the floor
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize