I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
