He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
