once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
