You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
