what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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