Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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