and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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