Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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