There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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