dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
