is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
