There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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