i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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