Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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