so explain again why im purple
no
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
