I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
