I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize