the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
