I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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