Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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