I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
birth control should be required to get into college
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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