they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
