I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
