omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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