its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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