I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
So. Much. Porn.
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