Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
