can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
