have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize