Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
