So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
