no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I am mentally ready for anal.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
