I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
