I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
