The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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