thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
