His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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