office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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