Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
