I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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