I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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