Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
