I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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