you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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