yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
