it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize