First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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