whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
