My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
