you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I am midnight drunk by noon
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
