I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
