sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
