these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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