Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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