Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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