She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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